She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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