She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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