Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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