i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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