She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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