People with herpes should wear stickers.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
