I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
