no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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