I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
