Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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