my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think people are normalizing furries
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
