it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
