My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
