i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
