i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
And then he peed in my hair
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