If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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