ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
