So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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