I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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