and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
