hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
