even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
