guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
