One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
