in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
