Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
