that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
