Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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