you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
