So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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