they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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