it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
