I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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