I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
