just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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