tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
