if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
