question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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