i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
