Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
