My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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