fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
