I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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