so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
