I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
