someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My hand turned me down
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
