I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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