I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
