i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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