I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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