at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
