wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
