no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
