sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
