Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
