whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
